Follow You

You know how you get a song stuck in your head and you find yourself singing it all the time? I have one stuck in my head. It started in February when a couple of my friends went down to Haiti. I would have loved to have gone with them and done medical on the ground but it just wasn't possible. So I stayed here and prayed for them. During that time I started hearing "Follow You" by Leeland on a regular basis and thought it would be a really neat song to use for a slide show with their pictures when they got back. Yes I am a tech dork and think of things like that. :) They have since then put together a "Haiti mix" of the song. You know how sometimes God does things that you don't see coming? Well He did it. I was in the back of the squad going to a call one night and this song was again playing in my head. "And I´ll... follow You into the homes of the broken" and  then it hit me like a ton of bricks. That was exactly what we do as EMT/ Firefighters!

I have long felt that God put me on the fire department and I have been able to minister to so many people because of it. Whether it's the 80 year old lady whose family never visits and just needs her hand held and someone to talk to or the kid who watched us cut his parents out of their car and put them in a helicopter and take them away. I can't even count the times that I have been able to pray with a patient or for a patient. Sometimes its requested and sometimes it's just a silent prayer while pulling up on scene. But a lot of the time we are working with people who society has forgotten or chooses not to see. The lady at the nursing home; the truck driver at the truck stop; the hooker at the shady motel; and the homeless man. These are my patients.  So I am thankful for the reminder that I get to be His hands and feet, and I am reminded that these where the people that he ministered to while He was here as well. The woman at the well? 

Leeland - Follow You

From the album Love Is On The Move

You live among the least of these

The weary and the weak

And it would be a tragedy

For me to turn away

All my needs You have supplied

When I was dead You gave me life

So how could I not give it away so freely?

And I´ll...

Follow You into the homes of the broken

Follow You into the world

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God

Follow You into the world

Use my hands use my feet

To make Your kingdom come

To the corners of the earth

Until Your work is done

Faith without works is dead

On the cross Your blood was shed

So how could we not give it away so freely?

And I give all myself

I give all myself

I give all myself to You

Choices

It has been ages since I have blogged. For some reason I can't seem to get any thoughts out. Tonight while we caught up on Chuck I had a realization. While I watched Chuck struggle to realize who he is I  realized that is exactly where I am at. I am at one of those cross roads in life where you know that you must make a choice. Who am I? Am I a mommy? A teacher? A firefighter?  I feel like Robert Frost. You know, "two roads diverge in a yellow wood".

Ok so I am not having a total identity crisis. But I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions and have no idea where to go. So tonight I put my Ipod on and am listening to Natalie Cole, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin. I have not lost all of myself. ;) In all practicality I have two families. My "real" family and my "family" at the FD. This sounds really odd but at times the FD family is more like my family than my real family. We are probably going to homeschool C next year and I think that has caused some of the identity crisis. I am going to have to become a teacher and I have no idea how to do that!! I have been very selective with who we have mentioned this to. With all of the other drama I just didn't feel like fighting about something else with people. The people that I have mentioned that we are considering it to have all been very positive. Now I know that will not always be the case. But I guess the snide comment from that lady at Walmart really didn't concern me. Then last week something was said at the station and I admitted to one of the guys that we were considering homeschooling C. I was totally taken back by the comments and questions that followed. And this coming from someone who I not only "work" with but I truly consider to be like a big brother! Someone who is encouraging me to go back to school and become a Paramedic. So now I am trying to balance my families once again. I think I would really like to look into going back to school but think that right now it is "the road not taken".  I have no doubts that I will never regret homeschooling even if it is for only a year. But part of me wonders if I will never get the chance to pursue this. It was kinda scary too. You know in the old western movies where someone would say something and the cowboy would say "Them's fightin words, pardner"? Well that's what happened. I was suddenly like a mama bear and got totally upset about totally legitimate questions (ok, most of them) that I am SURE I will have to answer many more times. Why? Maybe because I had not answered some of them myself. I'm not sure on this yet. And what happens when my real family asks the same questions? Because the guys at the station will not get offended if I yell or walk off or what ever but my other family will. Guys are so much easier to talk to than girls! ;) Just a side note- I did not do any of those things, I'm just saying that I could have. So I guess I am not any closer to answering any of these questions but feel better for having ranted and raved for awhile. :D  I will leave you with something from Paul Combs.